4:08 p.m. - 2006-02-05
laughter and love
Dearest Lucian,
have i mentioned how wonderful it is to listen to your laughter? I am just sitting here holding you and as you laugh at some untold joke, i am overwhelmed with my own happiness and peace. you live up to your name in ways i never imagined! people tell me i'm spoiling you, because i hold you too much. this may be true, but i can't help myself. you are so beautiful, and fun, and kissable, and charming... and you're good exercise, too! you hug back, and give those adorable open-mouthed kisses! you look into my eyes with understanding and love. you smile when we're together. and although you would stand all day if it were up to you (which it isn't since you haven't gotten your balance yet), you never mind just sitting with me while i read to you, or we watch tv together. I have had such fun reading all my old poetry books from when i was a kid. some of the language in "A Child's Garden of Verses" by Robert Louis Stevenson is difficult for you, i'm sure, due to time, and placement (he's from england) but i got most of the poetry when i was growing up, and the ones i didn't understand, i skipped. i still enjoyed most of the book, and i hope you do too.
you grow too quickly. this is anoth reason that i hold you so much. i know that when this is over, you will never again be this small. and this time will seem like it was merely a fleeting moment, and i want to enjoy every second of it. i don't want to look back and regret not spending more time looking into your eyes, making you feel safe and loved. i don't want my arms to feel as though they missed a chance to hug you. i have never loved someone so much as i love you. i don't know if it would even be possible.
it's time we packed up and headed down to pete's for the superbowl. you really like him. he really likes you, too.
i love you!!!!
mommy
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